Erasure: Silencing Diverse Voices
Tools of Oppression in Relationships
This article is part of my Tools of Oppression in Relationships series. Click here to start from the beginning.
Erasure, like standardization, is deeply rooted in colonialism. While standardization seeks to homogenize, erasure takes this a step further by obliterating difference entirely. It silences cultures, identities, and pathways that fall outside the dominant narrative, leaving behind a singular, narrow version of what is “acceptable” or “normal.” Over time, this process makes more authentic alternatives not only inaccessible but often invisible, creating a world where many people don’t even realize there are other ways of existing or they fear the consequences of exploring them too much to try.
The Legacy of Colonial Erasure
Colonial powers wielded erasure as a weapon to suppress the cultures and systems of the peoples they dominated. Indigenous languages, governance structures, and spiritual practices were forcibly replaced with European norms. This wasn’t just an act of control – it was a deliberate strategy to sever and separate people from their roots, making it easier to assimilate them into the colonial framework.
This legacy persists today. Many indigenous and marginalized communities struggle to preserve their cultural heritage in the face of ongoing systemic erasure. What’s worse, the dominant narrative often reframes this erasure as progress or modernity, further delegitimizing the alternatives that once flourished.
Cultural and Historical Erasure
Many people live within systems that have erased the relational practices of their ancestors. For example, indigenous approaches to community care and non-nuclear family structures are often unknown to those raised in colonized societies. This erasure leads to the assumption that the dominant relationship models – monogamy, heterosexuality, the nuclear family, hierarchical social structures – are the only “right” ways to connect.
In the absence of visible alternatives, people are often funneled into standardized relational pathways without question. People in monogamous relationships may never consider polyamory because the latter is erased from mainstream narratives or demonized. Parents often push their children toward traditional career paths without realizing the breadth of opportunities that exist outside conventional education or employment systems. The fear of social, economic, or legal consequences further suppresses exploration of these erased pathways, leaving many trapped in systems that don’t serve them.
Erasure profoundly impacts members of LGBTQ+ groups, as heteronormativity dominates relational and societal expectations. Many queer people grow up unaware of their own identity because they don’t see any examples since they have been erased or invalidated by societal norms. Those who do embrace their identity often face ostracism, reinforcing the consequences of deviating from standardized norms.
Psychological Effects of Erasure
When alternative pathways are erased, individuals often internalize the belief that their deviation is inherently wrong. This leads to shame, self-doubt, and a sense of unworthiness. People who feel “different” but cannot name or understand their divergence often struggle with isolation and alienation.
Erasure is maintained through fear – fear of rejection, punishment, or violence. This fear keeps people from exploring erased identities or practices, even when they feel misaligned with dominant norms. Someone who might benefit from rejecting the relationship escalator may stay on it, fearing judgment or losing access to community support.
When erasure is total, the collective memory of alternatives is gone. People cannot reclaim what they do not know, leaving future generations even more entrenched in systems of control or forced to reinvent the wheel. What was once a shared, inherited knowledge of diverse ways of being is reduced to fragments, requiring individuals and communities to rediscover or reconstruct pathways that were deliberately buried or destroyed.
This reinvention comes at great cost. It isolates those who seek alternatives, forcing them to face the overwhelming task of building something new without the guidance or support that collective memory provides. It also reinforces the illusion that dominant systems are inevitable, natural, and unchallengeable, making the effort to break free feel even more insurmountable. By severing connections to the past, total erasure ensures that the labor of resistance is repeated, not inherited and built upon – an exhausting cycle that perpetuates oppression and stalls progress.
Erasure as a Tool of Power-Over
Erasure is not passive – it is an active tool of oppression that consolidates power by removing the options that threaten the dominant systems. Curricula often omit the histories of marginalized groups, framing their contributions as insignificant or nonexistent. Erasure in media perpetuates narrow narratives about race, gender, and relationships, reinforcing the invisibility of diverse experiences. Laws often erase the rights of nonconforming groups leaving them vulnerable to exploitation and harm.
Erasure is Violence
Erasure is inherently violent because it doesn’t just ignore or exclude – it actively destroys. It is an act of decimation, wiping out identities, histories, and ways of being using methods that not only silence, but also wound. The violence of erasure is both psychological and systemic and it operates in ways that fracture individuals and communities while enforcing compliance with oppressive systems.
Erasure denies people the ability to see themselves reflected in the world, sending the message that they, and those like them, do not matter. It instills shame, self-doubt, and feelings of invisibility. This is an intentional act of invalidation that breaks people’s sense of self. For those whose identities are erased, the experience is one of profound disconnection from both their community and themselves. This disconnection can be deeply wounding, severing ties to culture, ancestry, and meaning as well as reinforcing the false notion that some people are abnormal, broken, or deviant.
Erasure operates through systems of power-over that perpetuate harm by eradicating difference. In its most obvious form, this looks like the destruction of cultural practices, histories, and knowledge systems during colonization. But erasure also manifests in more insidious ways today like:
Gentrification, which erases neighborhoods and cultural landmarks, replacing them with sanitized, homogenized spaces that cater to dominant groups
Education systems that exclude the histories and contributions of marginalized groups, rewriting the past to favor dominant narratives and erasing the foundations for collective memory
Legal erasure, such as policies that refuse to recognize certain family structures, identities, or rights, rendering people invisible in the eyes of the law
Erasure actively removes the foundations on which people build their sense of belonging, identity, and security.
On a macro scale, when entire communities are erased — through displacement, colonization, exclusionary policies, etc. — it creates intergenerational harm. It breaks the continuity of knowledge and culture, leaving future generations disconnected from their roots and forced to rebuild without guidance or support. This collective violence is particularly cruel because it not only erases the past but also denies people the ability to imagine alternative futures. By obliterating pathways that deviate from the dominant narrative, erasure ensures that the status quo remains unchallenged.
Erasure is violent because it denies existence itself. To erase someone’s identity, culture, or history is to declare that they do not deserve to take up space in the world. This form of violence goes beyond physical harm – it attacks the essence of who people are, often leaving wounds that are invisible but deeply felt.
Reclaiming what was erased is an act of resistance and healing. Acknowledging the violence of erasure is the first step in taking down the systems that perpetuate it and creating a world where diversity is not only preserved but celebrated.
Erasure Disguised as Evolution
Erasure is often disguised as evolution – a natural progression or improvement over what has existed in the past. This framing makes its harm sneaky, convincing people that erasure is not only necessary but desirable. By presenting erasure as progress, dominant systems obscure the violence they enact, making it difficult for people to recognize that what was lost was not flawed or inferior but deliberately erased to consolidate power.
Throughout history, erasure has been justified as a necessary step toward modernization. Colonizers framed the destruction of cultures as bringing progress to “savage” or “primitive” peoples. Cultures were dismissed as obstacles to societal growth. This same narrative is pushed today as dominant systems are upheld as the pinnacle of human achievement.
Examples:
Indigenous knowledge was supplanted by European schools under the guise of providing “better” education. This erased entire perspectives and ways of understanding the world while presenting the European framework as superior.
Communal work and reciprocal economies were replaced with wage labor, framed as progress despite the exploitation and inequality it created.
Communal family structures that are non-nuclear were, and continue to be, labeled dysfunctional, replaced with rigid, standardized family roles that marginalize many valid and healthy households.
Erasure becomes particularly dangerous when those affected by it internalize the idea that the status quo is, in fact, the best way forward. The narrative of evolution creates the illusion that what exists now is the result of improvement rather than imposition. People come to see erased options as not only unavailable but inherently undesirable or inferior. Without visible models, even imagining something different feels risky or impossible. For example, people may view nontraditional relationship structures or decolonized education systems as chaotic or unworkable, despite their historical effectiveness. Those who internalize this belief unknowingly perpetuate it, dismissing or suppressing alternatives in their own lives and communities.
When erasure is framed as evolution, it stifles innovation and diversity under the guise of progress. This not only harms individuals but weakens entire systems. Standardized models of love, family, and friendship limit how people connect, discouraging exploration and authenticity. The idea that heterosexual monogamy and the relationship escalator is the “natural” way to love leaves many feeling trapped and unfulfilled. Policies that erase diverse cultural practices strip communities of their resilience, replacing adaptive, localized solutions with one-size-fits-all systems that often fail. Lastly, the framing of erasure as progress narrows the imagination, leaving people unable to envision solutions that lie outside the dominant paradigm.
For those who endure erasure, internalized oppression compounds the harm. Believing that the status quo is the best or only way leads people to police themselves and others, perpetuating the systems that erased their alternatives. This will be explored more deeply later in the series in its own article, but it is important to note here that internalized oppression is both a product and a perpetuator of erasure disguised as evolution.
Building Sandcastles Against the Tide
Erasure is deeply frustrating because resisting it feels like building a sandcastle. Every time someone begins to reclaim erased identities, histories, or pathways, the systems of oppression that perpetuate erasure rush in to wash it away. The labor is endless and exhausting, as individuals and communities must repeatedly rebuild what has been destroyed, often without the collective memory or resources that were erased with the knowledge itself.
Even as some gains are made, through rediscovery, storytelling, or education, the tide of dominant narratives, societal pressure, and institutional power relentlessly threatens to undo the work. This cyclical nature of erasure not only stalls progress but also saps the energy of those who resist.
To combat erasure, we must do more than rebuild; we must address the tide itself. This means dismantling the structures that perpetuate erasure and creating spaces where all ways of being are not only reclaimed but fortified, ensuring they can withstand the waves of oppression. Only then can we move beyond survival to thriving.
Undoing erasure requires exposing the lie of “evolution” and reclaiming alternatives that are purposefully hidden. This means:
Challenging the narrative of progress
Questioning what is presented as better or modern and examining whose interests it serves
Reclaiming erased histories
Reviving knowledge systems, relational models, and cultural practices that were dismissed or destroyed
Creating visible alternative options
Ensuring that diverse ways of living are not only accessible but encouraged, so future generations can see that the status quo is not the only path
Erasure distorts the world, narrowing our understanding of what it means to be human. It silences diversity and enforces conformity and standardization by eliminating alternatives altogether. By reclaiming what has been erased, we can restore the full picture of human potential – one where individuality, authenticity, and diversity are celebrated.
Click here to read the next article in the series — Dependency: Eroding Self-Sufficiency