Inclusion: Welcoming All Perspectives
Tools of Liberation in Relationships
This article is part of my Tools of Liberation in Relationships series. Click here to start from the beginning.
Most people associate “inclusion” with the I in DEI: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. While efforts to measure whether marginalized people are being represented and accommodated in institutional settings are important, inclusion as a liberatory tool goes much deeper. In the context of Power-With systems, inclusion isn’t just about representation or access, it’s about reorienting how we relate to one another.
Inclusion is not the opposite of conflict. Inclusion does not mean tolerating everything or avoiding difference. In a Power-With world, inclusion is about making room for contradiction, complexity, difference, and shared humanity. Inclusion refuses the scarcity-based logic that says space must be reserved for only certain people. Instead, inclusion insists that everyone has something to offer, and that a system is only as strong as the range of people it can hold.
Inclusion as Healing
Exclusivity fractures relationships by creating in-groups and out-groups. Inclusion can be the slow and intentional act of repairing those fractures. Inclusion does not erase differences or deny your boundaries. Rather, it untethers belonging from performance and proximity. Inclusion affirms: you don’t have to be like me, agree with me, or be close to me for me to recognize your full humanity. At its heart, inclusion is not about absorbing everyone into your innermost circle; it’s about removing the unspoken conditions we have placed on respect, care, and acceptance. It is an active decision to decenter sameness as a prerequisite for safety. It is the practice of making space for people to exist as they are, even if they do not mirror us, serve us, or soothe us.
Inclusion is also a healing practice because it interrupts the wounds of internalized exclusion. Inclusion reverses the psychological damage of exclusion by refusing the impulse to rank people based on their usefulness, appeal, or familiarity. While exclusivity teaches us to equate acceptance with approval, inclusion creates space for complexity and contradiction. It asks us to step out of the comparative frameworks we have been taught to survive in and instead choose connection over control. The psychology of inclusion softens defensiveness and disrupts the internalized belief that we must earn our worth by outperforming others or hiding parts of ourselves. Many of us carry the belief that in order to be loved, we must perform, please, or contort ourselves into something more palatable. We learn early that acceptance is conditional, so we shape-shift in an effort to belong. Inclusion teaches us over time that we do not need to diminish others to be seen and that we do not need to diminish ourselves to be loved.
While exclusivity upholds status through in-groups and out-groups, inclusion dissolves artificial hierarchies and centers the collective. Inclusion isn’t performative representation, it’s participatory design. We don’t want to fit people into existing systems; we want to co-create systems that reflect and serve the full spectrum of humanity. Where exclusivity heightens vigilance – constantly scanning for signs of rejection, competition, or status – inclusion allows us to rest. It makes room for mutual recognition without the need for constant evaluation. When we are no longer trying to earn our place, we can show up more fully, and paradoxically, become more capable of genuine connection.
Inclusion is healing because it invites us out of survival mode. It reminds us that connection doesn’t have to be transactional and that love does not have to be scarce. Belonging isn’t something to compete for, it’s something we can create together, deliberately and generously.
Inclusion in Systems
In education, inclusion means valuing curiosity and collaboration over prestige and competition. Instead of sorting people into narrow categories of talent or intelligence, inclusive learning honors diverse ways of thinking, knowing, and growing. It encourages mutual learning rather than gatekeeping, and it challenges the idea that knowledge is scarce or reserved for the privileged.
Rather than preserving prestige through scarcity, by limiting admission, gatekeeping curriculum, and catering only to the well-resourced, these institutions can become hubs of shared learning and innovation by widening access and decentralizing authority. True inclusion asks institutions to shift from being symbols of status to centers of service by treating education as a collaborative public good rather than a private asset. In a Power-With world, learning is not a privilege granted to the few but a collective endeavor made richer by every perspective it holds.
In immigration, inclusion requires us to interrogate the very idea of national belonging. Power-With systems reject the premise that safety and opportunity should be assigned based on arbitrary borders. Inclusion reframes the conversation from “who deserves to be here” to “how can we build communities where everyone feels they are contributing and thriving?” It doesn’t mean the absence of boundaries altogether but it does mean those boundaries are no longer used to determine who is worthy of dignity.
To move toward inclusion, immigration policy must shift from control and exclusion to reciprocity and integration. This looks like pathways to participation that don’t require assimilation or erasure, and systems of support that treat migration as a natural part of human life rather than a threat. Inclusion means centering the needs and insights of those most affected by displacement and making decisions alongside, not for, immigrant communities. It invites a reimagining of citizenship itself, not as a status to be earned, but as a shared commitment to care for the spaces and people we live among.
In consumer culture, inclusion means resisting the myth that value comes from scarcity. Rather than participating in status hierarchies built on exclusivity – limited edition goods, elite access, insider knowledge – inclusion invites us to create systems where beauty, creativity, and meaning are shared. It refuses to treat access as something to be earned through consumption and instead encourages generosity, circulation, and reciprocity.
More deeply, this means valuing collective resourcefulness over individual acquisition. It means investing in community economies, mutual aid, repair cultures, and open-source creativity. Inclusion reorients our relationship with “ownership,” asking what becomes possible when we share tools, knowledge, and spaces. Inclusive consumer practices recognize that the best things we create like art, food, innovation, and joy, are meant to be experienced, not hoarded. In this world, consumption is no longer a way to secure belonging, it becomes an act of connection.
Inclusion in Personal Relationships
Importantly, inclusion doesn’t mean everyone belongs in your closest relationships. Alignment, values, personalities, and reciprocity all still matter. Inclusion does not mean abandoning boundaries, it means allowing them to be based in authenticity, not exclusion. We can honor difference without needing to convert or absorb it. We can accept others, and ourselves, without shrinking, assimilating, or competing for worth.
In inclusive relationships, we do not mistake disagreement for disrespect. Instead, we create space for people to show up in their wholeness, and we choose to remain in connection when it serves mutual growth, even when it’s not always comfortable.
Inclusion also invites us to shift how we relate to ourselves. Many people have internalized exclusion so deeply that they have severed parts of their identity in order to be accepted. In a Power-With paradigm, personal inclusion means reclaiming those parts, restoring what has been disowned, quieted, or masked for the sake of belonging. It is an act of self-acceptance that becomes a foundation for building more honest and expansive relationships with others.
One of the most overlooked places where inclusion can be transformative is in our relationships with children. Children are often treated as lesser beings, tolerated but not fully heard, guided but rarely included in decision-making, expected to conform rather than encouraged to participate. In an inclusive framework, children are not just future adults to be molded, they are full human beings deserving of respect, agency, and collaboration now. Inclusion of children means listening to their perspectives, honoring their boundaries, and including them in the rhythm of family and community life. It challenges the adult-centered hierarchies that dominate most caregiving systems and replaces them with practices of shared power and mutual trust.
Ultimately, inclusion in personal relationships is not about universal access to our inner worlds. It’s about how we see and relate to others, especially those we might otherwise overlook, misunderstand, or reject. In a Power-With world, we do not gatekeep dignity. We do not demand sameness. Instead, we create relational ecosystems where belonging is not earned through performance, but offered as a baseline of respect. Inclusion becomes a way of being, one that fosters connection without control and intimacy without erasure.
Click here to read the next article in the series — Inclusion: Welcoming All Perspectives
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