Sustainable Relationships
The path to a sustainable planet starts with building relationships.
The path to a sustainable planet starts with building relationships.
When people say they’re “in a relationship,” we usually assume they are talking about a monogamous romantic relationship. This definition of relationship is very narrow. “Relationship” is a word that refers to the way two entities are connected, how they behave toward each other, and how they regard one another. This, much broader, definition allows us to think about our interactions more deeply. We spend so much time focusing on finding a romantic relationship, analyzing everything about it, even singing about it, that we sometimes fail to recognize that our entire lives are just collections of relationships, most of them not romantic.
Relationships are, in my humble opinion, the only real currency in life. They are the only truly precious things. To use the word to refer only to romance is reductive and harmful. There are so many types of important, valuable relationships that have no romantic element to them.
Sustainable relationships are what many might call “healthy relationships.” They enrich your life, give you purpose, and teach you. They bring comfort to you. They are easy to maintain and don’t feel like “hard work.” Sustainable relationships are aligned and balanced.
Not all relationships are positive or even consensual. An offender and a victim are in a relationship, but it’s against the victim’s will. If a new boss is hired at your job, while they may have consented to be your boss, you may not have desired the change. These relationships are not sustainable. For a relationship to be sustainable, it must:
be desired by, agreed upon, and feel good to both parties involved
not cause harm to other parties
This sounds easy enough, but like most things in life, there are complexities to consider. I will discuss all those nuances and intricacies with you on this blog.
In my posts, I will mostly focus on 4 types of relationships and how to make the ones in your life more sustainable:
personal relationships without romance or sex
personal relationships involving romance and/or sex
relationships with peers & professionals
relationships with the environment
Relationships & Love
Are all sustainable relationships rooted in love? A big part of me wants to scream YES! but “love” is not as easily defined as “relationship.” For many people, saying that they love someone is a big deal. Love is often seen as sacred, reserved for those who deserve it. I’d like to see love doled out more liberally; I think that’s the only solution to making the world a better place, for lack of a better cliche´. I’m not here to convince you to love everyone. I certainly don’t love everyone. I’m not even going to try to convince you that all sustainable relationships have to be centered around love (although, I lowkey think they do). All I want to do is provoke your thoughts, reflect, and discuss. In this space, I want to talk about how to improve our lives by making relationships more sustainable.
I hope you will join me in reflection, exploration, and illumination focused on how we can change the world through relationships.